Giving / Getting Support Help for you and your partner Your spouse or partner has prostate cancer. If you are like most couples dealing with prostate cancer, it has placed a strain and some special needs on your relationship. How the disease affects sex and intimacy between you may be one of your major concerns. Whether it is or is not, you face a range of other emotional pressures and psychological issues. You cannot hide. You have to cope and you can. Here are some tips that can help you give support to your partner, and get the emotional support you need.

Learn all you can about prostate cancer and its treatment
The more you know about prostate cancer, the more you will know what to expect in terms of treatment, side effects and outcomes. Armed with knowledge, you can begin to remove some of your uncertainty and anxiety. You will have a better idea of what your spouse or partner is facing. You can help him act to become informed, to understand available treatments, and to make decisions about how to deal with prostate cancer. By helping your partner, you will help yourself.

Ask for help
Watch for signs of depression in both you and your partner. Seek professional help as soon as you think it is needed. Ask for help of any kind when you need it. Accept it when it's offered.

Look for a prostate cancer support group and attend together
Don't face prostate cancer alone. It is likely that a prostate cancer support group exists in your community-or nearby. Seek it out and share your challenges with others facing the same challenges. Getting and giving help will strengthen your sense of community and provide a strong sense of support.

In the online environment, consider visiting US TOO Partners at http://www.ustoo.com. The organization is a support network for the partners of prostate cancer survivors.

Keep the lines of communication open
Communication is critical during this stressful time. Talk to your partner about how you feel and encourage him to speak openly and honestly with you. Let him know that the disease, and the consequences of it, are not "his" problems alone- they are problems that you both share.

Ask the doctor questions
Go with your partner to his doctor visits so you can hear first-hand what the doctor has to say. Take notes and keep them with your medical records. No question is a dumb question, especially about prostate cancer. And never stop asking questions as long as you have them.

Deal head-on with your feelings about his impotence
If your partner becomes impotent, you probably will have strong feelings to deal with. The emotions can be very complex. Remember that these emotions are normal. Acknowledge them. You are not alone; many individuals in the U.S. have partners who have developed erectile dysfunction because of prostate cancer.

You need to defuse your own emotions so you can deal with the impotence itself. Solicit your partner's support to solve the problem. To get a dialogue going, try a simple statement such as, "I have a problem and I need your help." This will take him off the defensive. Then tell him how you feel. Encourage him to share his feelings. If you are non-demanding, your partner should be open to talking.

If you both want a sexual relationship that includes intercourse, your next step is to get good information about your options for treatment. Click here for more information about impotence and its treatment. Visit your doctor together to talk about the problem. The best way to calm the emotions, reduce fear and resolve the impotence is to consider, as a couple, your options for effective treatment.

Take good care of yourself.
Last but not least, take time to do the things you enjoy. Give yourself time to grieve. Understand and accept your limitations.

Have more questions? Click here to find a doctor in your area.